Just for Fun!

Von Dorans
German Shepherds

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Just for Fun!
Call us at 843-296-2863 or email us at info@vondoransgermanshepherds.com
Located in Charleston, South Carolina

How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

GOLDEN RETRIEVER: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
DACHSHUND: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
ROTTWEILER: Make me.
LAB: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?
GERMAN SHEPHERD: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
POODLE: I'll get to it when I've finished my hair and my nails are dry.
COCKER SPANIEL: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark
IRISH WOLFHOUND: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover.....
AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle.
OLD ENGLISH SHEEP DOG: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
HOUND DOG: ZZZZZZzzzzz.z.z.z..z..z..z...z

How Many Cats Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs.
So, the question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?

All of which proves, once again, that while dogs have masters, cats have staff...

TOP 10 REASONS TO BREED YOUR DOG
Thought the house was too orderly
Never did like having a full nights sleep
Wanted my Vet to get a new BMW
Thought the furniture looked too nice
Love the sounds of puppies in the morning, noon, afternoon, evening, midnight, predawn, etc.
Garden and backyard needed renovations, and didn't want to pay a gardener.
Neighbors didn't complain enough
Kids weren't enough of a challenge
If you can train & show one dog, why not ten?
Wanted to see if spouse really meant those vows.

THINGS I LEARNED FROM MY DOG

1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
2. Allow the experience of fresh air and wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
4. When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.
5. Let others know when they have invaded your territory.
6. Take naps and stretch before rising.
7. Run, romp and play daily.
8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
9. Be loyal.
10. Never pretend to be something you are not.
11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close and nuzzle them gently.
13. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
14. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
15. On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shade tree.
16. When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
17. No matter how often you are scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout, . . . . run right back and make friends.
18. Bond with your pack.
19. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
20. Long after you are gone, remain a memory in your master's dreams.

German Shepherd Property Laws
If I like it, it's mine.
If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
If I can take it from you, it's mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
If it looks just like mine, it's mine.
If I saw it first, it's mine.
If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
If it's broken, it's yours.

One day, a nicely groomed German shepherd dog went to town with his owner, a farmer. From the back of the truck, the dog noticed a sign, “Help Wanted,” in the window of a fast food hamburger joint. While the farmer went into the hardware store for supplies, the dog decided to check out the job opening. Once inside, the dog trotted up to the lady behind the counter, barked, walked back to the sign, and wagged his tail.

Getting the idea, the lady showed him to the manager’s office. Thinking it was a joke, the manager played along, looking over his desk, he said, “You are not qualified, because you can not type.”

In three leaps and bound, the shepherd was on a stool behind the counter, and had pressed the buttons for a double-cheeseburger with fries and a beverage. Bringing back the receipt in his mouth, he jumped back on the couch in front of the manager’s desk.

The stunned manager, stammered, “..bbut you al-also n-n-need good c-c-c-omput-t-ter skills.”

The shepherd jumped onto his desk and proceeded to punch up a spreadsheet showing a hypothetical profit/loss statement correlating employees, overhead costs, sales, and revenue.

The dumb-founded manager shook his head in amazement! Looking at the shepherd, he said, “You are the smartest dog I’ve ever known, and I’d like to hire you, but since we posted an ad asking for someone multilingual, we could get sued if we hire you.”

The dog looked at the manager and calmly said, “Mooooo. Mooooo.” Wagging his tail, cocking his head to the side, the dog thought a little more, and decided to show he also knew a little more, “Meow.”